Noriko Yamamoto

When I entered a foster care facility there were many people who were joining the work force rather than pursuing higher education. Almost all of them said they gave up on going on to higher education because their “knowledge was lacking”, they “couldn’t pay tuition fees”, or they “wanted to earn money working rather than go to college”. Even though everyone, with eyes shining, wanted “to be a beautician”, “to be an athlete”, etc. when they were middle school students… However, there was one lone child that attended high school, and did their best with their studies and club activities while working part-time saving money to go to college, among other things, without giving up on going to college. I think seeing that person’s best efforts is precisely the reason why I also didn’t give up on going to college and I am where I am now.

The circumstances of my being in a foster care facility for about 8 years since I was an elementary school student were very big. Right when I entered, I was surrounded by scary older people and I spent every day afraid, but little by little I lived a fun and peaceful life going to school with the kids my age, studying, eating snacks, and enjoying myself. Generally, I thought the place for children to live peacefully was with their birth parents, but I believe the place I lived in peaceful happiness was at the facility, not with my parents.

Sometimes I heard my school friends talking about their families and I felt lonely. Even though their parents getting mad about my friends’ bad test grades, the facility staff members did not get mad at me. When it was visitation day and a young staff member came I was embarrassed because they were obviously a different age than my friends’ parents. When I felt the difference with normal families, I came to hate my living at the facility.

At one point, I don’t remember when, I came to think, “I was a staff member of the facility”. I had a strong thought that I might get close to more children entering the home with painful and lonely feelings and offer my sympathy. I asked a facility staff member how to get the job, I knew that there were childcare worker qualifications, and that was the reason I had to go to college. But I didn’t have parents paying tuition so I could go to college, I would have to leave the facility when I turned 18, and how would I get a guarantor if I lived alone? I felt like the barrier to going to college was very large.

However, when I consulted with a facility staff member, there were many things that I didn’t know. They were aware of the scholarship system, tuition exemption assistance aimed at children living at the facility, and a lot of other support. I think I am where I am now thanks to that. I think that I could go to junior college because of the strong feelings I had for those who supported me and, above all else, I did my best without giving up. When I tell stories like this to adults I don’t know, they praise me saying, “Keep up the hard work”, and “That’s great, I want my children to follow your example”. Of course, I don’t think what they are saying is wrong. But I was very bothered by the phrase “I want my children to follow your example”. The reason is because if that child needs something, there is a parent who will help them, and even if they do nothing there is a place where they can live peacefully. I was pleased about the praise, but the reality is that if you are not normal you may feel the barrier with that nonchalant phrase.

I thought that going to college would be difficult. So, the choice was that I either had to leave the facility at 18 or live in the facility until measures were extended and I arranged preparation for independence. Even if I leave there are no parents that will take custody of me, so I chose measure extension. But just because the measures were extended doesn’t mean that everything in my life was stable. The money side was especially difficult. Up until I was a high school student I didn’t have any spending money, and I had to work part-time to earn money. The money that I steadily saved up to this point was decreasing little by little, making me feel very anxious.

Currently, I have an independent support system, I worked as a childcare worker for five years after I graduated from junior college and, utilizing the benefits of rent assistance and livelihood support cost payments, somehow live while I smoothly manage to save money from my part-time job. While living in the facility I don’t have my own space, so I am bewildered but I am enjoying myself. From now on I will move towards a working lifestyle and do my best to get the job I pictured myself doing.

At times when I go visit at the facility it is a relief to receive a “Welcome home”. And I am very happy talking to high school students who have entered the facility about their future dreams. I hope to tell them that if they don’t give up, their dreams will come true.

Finally, as someone that has experienced living in foster care, I hope to arrange a system that guarantees a place to live a peaceful life and includes measure extensions. Specifically, one without anxiety on the money side. I think it is important to have a place where one can devote themselves to their studies.