I am now in my fourth year of college. Since our life now is very restricted and confined due to Covid-19, I have come to realize very clearly that real independent life comes after leaving foster care.
　Now I spend much more time with myself not interacting with people, I am losing mental balance and becoming psychologically unstable. I began to think about the importance of mental health.

　There are a few months left as a student, so I decided to make the most of the time to study for my qualifications, language and so on. However, since my goal is too big and unclear, this is not going well. I feel guilty whenever I do things other than that, such as watching dramas. I am under pressure. 

　I was so overwhelmed and I asked for an opportunity to consult with my former therapist whom I used to see regularly at the child protection facility, and we decided to resume counseling sessions after some time.

　As I talked with my therapist, I realized that even though I thought I was resting, my heart and mind was not actually resting. When I was at the child protection facility, the staff gave me lots of praises and positive words, but it had been four years since I left there, and my mental habits from the time before I entered the facility came out and feeling down. So I feel that I need to start to look at the little things I have accomplished and accept myself for who I am, even though there are things I have yet to accomplish.

　Through the counseling sessions, I experienced how important it is to rest. I learned that when we are constantly tensed and feeling monotonous then we get depressed; when we can take deep breath and feel comfort then we are relaxed; and when we are too harsh to ourselves, we need to remind ourselves things we achieved until now. Our body and mind are connected. Through these advices, I experienced for the first time the importance of taking time to “rest”. Since then, whenever I relax my body such as taking bath or meditation, I also relax my heart and mind. I feel more mentally stable. 
　Just as important as these realizations, it was a big comfort for me to know that there is someone who knows about my life, family relationship, mental state of being. It gives me assurance knowing that there will be someone I can talk to next month. So I am very grateful that I had someone to talk to.
　Now I live close to the facility I used to live, but when I will start working m a little worried when I imagine what will happen after I find a job and get transferred. I would like to be more conscious of how I deal with myself in my life now, before I start working.

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