MyVoiceOurStory

My name is Suzuka. I am currently a sophomore in college and studying special education.

I’d like to briefly share about my past with you.

I used to live with my mother and my younger brother who had disability. My role at home was to take care of my brother, running errands, cooking, laundry and so on. My mother always insisted me to get good grades in school. As my mother wished, I entered one of the good high schools, but I was no longer able to manage my role at home and my high school life. So the school nurse contacted the child guidance center and I was placed in temporary care. It was January of my sophomore year of high school.

I was in the child protection facility for 7-8 months, which is a short period of time, but I hope you will get some idea of what it’s like, as an example.

One thing that troubled me when I entered the child protection facility was the words “you can choose whatever you like.” These words would make any normal child happy, but they actually confused me. I was so used to being conscious about how my mother would react, so I could not choose anything at my will. When I was placed in the facility, I was taken to a shop to buy bedding and pajamas, and I was told, “you can choose whatever you like”. However, I just had no idea what I liked, and only thought I could have was “I must find as the cheapest ones as possible.“

Another problem I encountered was having no set schedule for the day. At home, it was too natural for me to have a certain time to wake up, have meal and go to bed, to help my brother who had intellectual disability. In fact many people have gone to bed late sometimes because of work or homework, or eat late to wait for a family member to come home.  At my facility, all the children from preschoolers to high school students lived in the same space, and it was normal for us to eat, take shower or go to bed at different times each day.  When things didn’t turn out on time, I used to think, “it was because I didn’t help with dinner” or “I’d be punished for going to bed so early.”

All of those things were troubles for me when I first moved into the facility. But now I am grateful for the experiences that I had. Being away from home, I realized that life in facility was far more “normal” than life at home. Children have rights to choose for themselves, like- “what kind of clothes I want to wear” “which cartoon character I like” or “what color I love.”  I wasn’t guaranteed these rights until I was 17. Choosing something that would not offend my mother’s feeling was my first priority. I had too little experience in making my own choice. As a result, I was a high school student who’d be confused by someone telling me “you can choose whatever you like.”  Now I live by myself and if I hadn’t experienced living in a facility, I’d still be obsessed with the time and schedule of the day- for example, what time I am supposed to wake up and go to bed. -I’d do all of these things not for my own sake, but because otherwise I’d assume I would get scolded. I felt that I had no choice other than that in order to live. However, in reality, you can continue to live even if you stay up late or oversleep. That may trouble me, but no one would get mad at me for that anymore.

My sincere request to the staff at child protection facility is to assure children to have a “normal life” as much as possible.  “Normal” is a vague word but this is something that you wouldn’t be even conscious because it’s so normal for you. For example, the light is on when you come home; you are called by name; someone buys you books and stationaries to study; you’ve watched the most popular cartoon, or you’ve been to an amusement park. These are not explicitly listed as things should be “guaranteed” for children but there are many things that are necessary for children to experience.

Children like me, who didn’t know what “normal” life is, may not know that they have choice to wear something other than hand-me-down clothes or that they have right to say “I wanna go to movie during summer vacation.”

It would be wonderful if children can learn, through the interaction with other children and staff, to know the options and choices that may not be familiar to them, and to be able to express their needs or things they want adults to do for them.  

I think this is an opportunity for you to change the future of the children’s lives. I would be happy if you can be someone stands for children’s bright future and support children to live happily.